Your Turn to Learn

Multitasking and logistics —these were the skills I used to manage all the things I needed to do as a mother, a student, and a part-time employee with little or no help.
Having no family in Alabama to help with my children or provide support was difficult. My husband had filed for divorce, remarried, moved, and failed to pay child support for many years. Two of my neighbors and their families offered help occasionally. They were truly a blessing to me in those hard times. I tried to identify resources available, in any form. I made sure those who were supportive knew how grateful I was and returned the favor when I could. I often traded baby-sitting with friends; we would watch each other’s children rather than pay someone.

I had a few health issues, most were resolved prior to my returning to college. If the children became sick (all four had chickenpox in one month), it truly became a huge obstacle for my attending college. I had no insurance, and if I missed work due to any of us being ill, my paycheck suffered. The only way to avoid missing work was to try to keep everyone healthy. Several times I had to work when I was feeling ill, or had been up all night with one of the children when he or she was sick.

Transportation was a problem because I could not afford insurance, gas and maintenance costs. I had a car but could not afford to use it. The area where I lived did not have public transportation. I had to walk or ride a bike everywhere (including buying groceries). Occasionally I would get a ride with friends. Money was extremely tight the first few years. I remember walking to the grocery store and trying to determine what I could afford to buy that trip and still be able to carry it when I walked home! What a fitness program… I lost a lot of weight those first few years, which at that time was a good thing. I just knew if I kept moving forward things would in time, be better.

What advice would I give to another woman thinking of returning to school?

• Teach your children by example. Mothers who succeed raise children who succeed.
• Do not focus on what you DO NOT HAVE… focus on what you DO have!
• Returning to school is a positive step in the right direction.
• Thinking of doing it is stop there, get moving forward.
• Instead of setting yourself up to be disappointed, be realistic. Maybe take one class at a time instead of a several.
• One step at a time still moves you forward.
• Set short-term goals and be proud of any accomplishment, it empowers you to succeed!
• Once you see that you can achieve one goal, then another, it creates momentum.
• Do some research and find out what you need to do or accomplish prior to going back to school.
• What is holding you back? Identify these time-wasters early.
• How can you “juggle” that time and still get things done?
• Sometimes sacrifices must be made for the greater good (I gave up dusting and making beds every day, for a year…).
• Plan ahead and get as much information as possible.
• Ask lots of questions.
• Even if you do not know what “major” you may want to pursue, you can still take “core” classes.
• What resources do you have available?
• Don’t be afraid to ask for a little help from people who support you, and don’t take that for granted.
• There’s a difference in helping someone and doing it for them. (”teach them to fish and they’ll never go hungry”).
• A degree is a great thing to have, no one will fault you for not having it NOW if you are working on getting one.

Working toward a degree shows initiative and purpose. People will respect that and see the value in it!