Goals deferred; Goals achieved
From the Fifties to Fifty
As a young woman on the cusp of adulthood when I graduated from highschool in 1954, college was my goal, but NOT my ultimate goal. I wanted to get married and have a home and a family. I was dating a wonderful guy, to whom I would become engaged to within a year or so. He would graduate from UNC in June of 1957. If I matriculated in four years, I would not graduate until 1958. We decided that our timetable for getting married would be determined by his graduation and his desire to join the Air Force and become a pilot. That was all well and good at the time. Most of my friends were doing the same. Those that did go on to finish college, did so because their lives were on a different time-table; i.e., they had boyfriends who would not graduate for four years, or they had no marriage plans.
This plan for my life was all well and good, primarily because I truly wanted marriage and a family, but there were other reasons that contributed to my decision. My parents were struggling to pay my tuition. By my second year, if I had mixed emotions about marrying and not finishing college, they were quelled by the knowledge that my parents really couldn’t afford to send me. Marriage was a wonderful option.
By the time I reached my 42nd or 43rd year, I had achieved my goal of marriage and a family. My husband was very successful running a family engineering business, and I had gained community status as a club woman in various civic organizations. Our sons were finishing up their college educations, but our youngest child, a daughter, had taken us on a harrowing journey through her battle with congenital scoliosis. In 1978, she had a full spinal fusion and was in a body cast for a whole year.
Prior to that, I had taken many short, non-credit, writing courses, intent on learning how to write well. As a reader, I knew that it took more than desire to write to in order to have a book published and appreciated. I wanted both. But writing took a back seat again when my daughter had this life-threatening surgery; that is, until I began writing her story. At the time, very little was known about scoliosis, it was simply called curvature of the spine. If untreated, the prognosis was asymetry of the spine resulting in a large rib hump on the back. Because, hertofore, there had been no public awareness programs for distributing knowledge about this terrible condition that created crippled bodies and shortened life, I decided that a self-help book for families was needed and I was the one to do it.
One thing led to another, but ultimately, I decided that I wanted to finish my college education. I began by entering the continuing education program at NCSU. When it came time to declare a degree, I sought the advice of my husband, who said, “Wait a minute! Are you trying to change our lifestyle? Do you want to go to work?” I tried to tell him that I only wanted to improve my personal life by fulfilling a goal. Working through his angst took a little time, but in the end he was most supportive and I graduated from Meredith College at the age of 50.
So, my advice to those of you who are being held back by economics or fear of one sort or the other: get over it and go for it! You are never too old to learn.